I watched the State of the Union Address last night. I’m completely nonpartisan as far as the State of the Union Address goes. Republican, Democrat, Libertarian, Green Party, QAnIdiot, you name it…I am equally and easily distracted during the Address.
Applause lines seem to be an important part of it. Did you know “applause-o-meters” have been used in the past to help gauge which items are more likely to get bi-partisan support in upcoming legislation? The louder the applause, the more likely it is to have support, so the thinking goes.
Notice too that Senators and Representatives tend to jump up and clap when they hear something they especially like. I’m not sure why they feel compelled to do that. Maybe they are just trying to convince us of their physical fitness. Probably not a bad idea given the average age of the House of Representatives (nearly 58 years old) and the Senate (nearly 63 years old), according to the Library of Congress.
What would be really funny, though, is if they all clapped in an exaggerated way like their lives depend on it…you know, like in North Korea where their lives often do depend on it. (Now, I know their lives don’t depend on it…yet…but we seem to be trending poorly.)
There were a lot of applause lines in last night’s State of the Union Address. Unfortunately, many more were missed. Here’s just a few I thought of during the applause interludes. I offer them here as a public service to the President. Believe me, Mr. President, these are guaranteed to rock the applause-o-meter:
“I’m a big fan of breathing. Air is great! We all need it, we all love it! Don’t you think so?”
“Who here likes hot cocoa with marshmallows?”
“Who doesn’t love cats OR dogs? Whichever you have, don’t you love ’em?”
“Whether you’re happy or unhappy and you know it, clap your hands.”
“Putin has smelly feet.”
“Let’s take a bathroom break!”
“You scream. I scream. We all scream for ice cream. Now let’s go get some!”
“This speech is not going to last more than 10 minutes.”
