Windy Returns

Recently a friend recommended that I make myself available to Help A Reporter Out (HARO). This is a site where reporters go to find people with specific expertise for stories they are working on. The friend that recommended it to me is a former journalist and someone whose integrity and wisdom I trust. I have been thinking about it, until…

I got a rather annoying call from the Badger News Network and a reporter with a vaguely familiar voice and manner.

  • Reporter: Dr. Klaus?
  • Me: Yes? This is Tom.
  • Reporter: My name is Windy and I’m the Senior Political Correspondent for the Badger News Network.
  • Me: Badger News Network? Is that new? This is the first I’ve heard of it.
  • Windy (the Reporter): You haven’t, sir? I’m surprised. We are well known. Perhaps you’ve heard our slogan? “When you are the news, you’ll be Badgered?”
  • Me: No, I haven’t heard the slogan but it does sound…well…ominous.
  • Windy: Well, we do make folks in the swamp a bit nervous, sir.
  • Me: Uh huh…I’m sure. What can I do for you.
  • Windy: Sir, I’m wondering if you could tell me how you feel about President Trump’s victory over COVID-19?
  • Me: Victory? When did he defeat it? The last I heard – a few minutes ago – our daily cases are going up again and most states are in the midst of a spike. Seems to me like it is still going strong.
  • Windy: No, sir. President Trump defeated it. In fact, you know, he had COVID-19, he overcame it, nearly died, and now is doing great. He’s probably immune!
  • Me: Wait a minute…you’re kidding me right? We have no idea what was really going on with him and COVID-19 and we still don’t know that he isn’t asymptomatic and still infecting people.
  • Windy: No, sir, I’m not kidding you. President Trump defeated COVID-19 globally (it is just about gone, in fact) and he defeated it personally…nearly rising from the dead.
  • Me: This is nuts. I can only think of one reporter that would come up with such a crazy interpretation of the facts…wait a minute…what did you say your name is?
  • Windy: Windy sir.
  • Me: How is that spelled?
  • Windy: “W-I-N-D,” sir.
  • Me: You mean “Windy” like big gust of air or like “Winthrop Dykstra”?
  • Windy: Silence…lots of silence.
  • Me: Did you hear me…you mean “Windy” like…
  • Windy: I heard you, sir.
  • Me: Then what is it.
  • Windy: (Sigh) It’s like “Winthrop Dykstra.”
  • Me: Ha! I know you! You are Winthrop Dykstra-Baum!
  • Windy: More silence…lots of more silence.
  • Me: You are, aren’t you? You are my old nemesis Winthrop Dykstra-Baum, winner of the “Tinfoil Stetson” from Kursgesadt for your groundbreaking story of conspiracy theorists who do not still live in their parents’ basements with a business of hob ferrets.
  • Windy: (In a hoarsey whisper): Yes, it’s me.
  • Me: Winthrop, what are you doing calling me?
  • Win D.: (formerly Windy): I didn’t know who else to call. Nobody else picks up when I call.
  • Me: Are you really surprised, Winthrop? Are your really surprised? Look at who you are working for now and what you trying to get me to believe.
  • Win D.: Look, times are tough. I had to take a pay cut to work with Badger but they are reimbursing my payments for Obamacare…until President Trump is successful in removing it and replacing it with something better.
  • Me: Winthrop, can you hear yourself? Trump doesn’t have a plan to replace it and you know it. You and a lot of folks are going to be in trouble if he does get rid of the ACA, especially now that COVID-19 is heating up again.
  • Win D.: Well, I’m glad you mentioned that. Did you hear that President Trump has defeated COVID-19 once and for all? How does that news make you feel?
  • Me: Good-bye, Winthrop. (Click)

The View from Jeff

This is another of Jeff’s drawings for Inktober 2020 on the theme “Tooth.” Seem to fit nicely with Jeff’s love of hockey.

Author: The Driveler

Tom Klaus is the Driveler. On March 16, 2020, the first day of the Novel Coronavirus shelter-in-place order for his state, he started writing a daily blog to keep himself from stressing too much about the pandemic situation. He thought the daily blogging would last for only a couple of week but it stretched on to 77 consecutive days. Then he continued writing daily for a while after that as well. At some point the blog became The Daily Drivel...mostly because he was mostly writing the stream of consciousness drivel that was pouring out of his head, running down his face, and, sometimes, out of his mouth. In November 2020 he launched The Daily Drivel as a free-standing website/blog.

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