Sunday, May 10, 2020 – Live to Blog with Three Mothers
Indeed! There are three mothers in our house! There is Clemencia and there are Dolly and Madison. Dolly and Madison were both breeders in a puppy mill before they rescued us. Of course, we also have good reason to believe Dolly is one of Madison’s pups. So, all of this to say, Happy Mother’s Day all around!
Lessons Our Mothers Taught Us On How to Survive a Pandemic
Our mom’s probably never imagined we’d be living through a pandemic (unless our mom was a germophobe conspiracy theorist). Think about it though. All those things our mom’s kept telling us not to do, or to stop doing, now come back to us as our best defense against the spread of the Novel Coronavirus.
- Keep your hands to yourself!
- Don’t touch anything! I said ANYTHING!
- Eww! Stop picking your nose!
- Do NOT wipe snot on your sister!
- Stop spitting in your brother’s face!
- Don’t pick that up! Leave it on the sidewalk! You don’t know where it’s been!
- No, you cannot chew her used chewing gum!
- Stop trying to belch in my face!
- Don’t lick your hands!
- Don’t lick her face!
- Don’t spit at me!
- Stay away from your brother!
- Keep your mask on! We don’t want anyone to know who’s kid you are! (This one, of course, is specific to Halloween and Trick or Treat night.)
- Will you PLEASE stop wrestling with each other!
- Just stay away from him and he’ll stay away from you!
I asked Clemencia to review this list and offer additions. She read it thoughtfully, shook her head slowly, and gave me another “Que gueva!”
- Me: What? Why? What do you mean “que gueva?”
- Clemencia: Mi amor, these are from the mother of a son. Not a daughter!
- Me: Wait a minute, do you mean to tell me that only sons would do these things?
- Clemencia: You were a son and you are writing from that perspective. It just isn’t accurate for daughters…besides, honestly, you still do many of these things, mi amor.
- Me: That sounds a bit…What? No I do not!…You sound a bit sexist for a progressive sociologist, don’t you think?
- Clemencia: No. Not if its true, and it is. My sisters and I would never have done anything as gueva as these.
- Me: Okay, fine. Then what are the kinds of things mothers would say to daughters?
- Clemencia: That’s easy, mi amor. There is nothing.
- Me: What do you mean there is nothing?
- Clemencia: Mothers would not have to say any of those things to their daughters. We just don’t do them.
- Me: Oh, come on! Give me a break! None of those things? Nada?
- Clemencia: Si, nada.
- Me: Why not?
- Clemencia (smiling mischievously) : Because it is Mother’s Day and today we are perfect.
Okay, we need some help settling this. I’d like to know two things from you. First, are you a son or a daughter? Second, what lessons have you heard from your mother in the past that are now good lessons for staying safe in a pandemic? Follow this link to a Mother’s Lessons for Being Safe in a Pandemic (a Google Form) where you can answer the question. I’ll share responses, anonymously, in a few days.
The View from Jeff
I have always loved the Sunday newspaper comics! In honor of that, and because I don’t see this sheltering-in-place ending any time soon, and because I don’t want to over tax Jeff who is also in the midst of dissertation writing, I’m going to share his work each Sunday instead of everyday going forward. This will also be a way you can keep time during a this period when time seems to have been altered. You’ll know it is Sunday if there is a piece from Jeff Logan.
The Adventures of Chickenman
Let’s Start the Week with Some Good News
Thank you…that’s it, just thanks.
I really don’t know when it happened but I’ve got several hundred folks now following this blog through a variety of media. I’m stunned and honored. I never knew there was a such an appetite for drivel! Of course, not everyone is reading the blog each day but even the daily readership is slowly rising. I don’t know what to say, really. Thank you for sharing the blog…and feel free to keep sharing it. Thank you for reading. Thank you for making me feel like I’m doing something that is helpful to others in a time when it is so easy to feel helpless.
Stay safe, be well, keep calm, keep washing your hands, keep wearing your mask, and remember to listen to your mother!