Monday, May 4, 2020 – Live to Blog from A Kiddy Pool
With apologies in advance…I’m going to use a word today you may not prefer and some imagery that you may wish to forget. It is in the interest of the greater good. Frankly, it is far less offensive than many things you’ve heard come from the mouth of the current President of the United States. So, let’s get to it, shall we?
Today is National Pee in the Pool Day!
From this day forward, May 4, 2020 shall forever be known as the day that many people throughout the country were given permission to pee in the public swimming pool that is the United States of America.
Okay, not literally…I’m speaking figuratively, of course. I’m talking air, not water and COVID-19, not urine. But the idea is the same. Why May 4? Because this is the date when many states indicated they would start lifting the shelter-in-place orders that have been lessening the spread of COVID-19. Might I highlight again that those orders were working?
Very few of us would climb into a swimming pool knowing all swimmers were free to pee in the water whenever they felt the need. For decades common sense and decency have said you don’t pee in the public swimming pool. However, on this date many states are easing sheltering-in-place orders, thereby giving people permission to “pee in the pool” and put themselves and others at risk of causing COVID-19 to spike again, or resurge, or simply continue to grow at a steady pace. At least in a real swimming pool, all of the water is confined to the structure of the pool. Not so with COVID-19.
There are a dozen states which have not relaxed the shelter-in-place orders. I live in one of those and, frankly, I’m glad I do. We are not done with COVID-19 and it isn’t done with us.
However, Pennsylvania (to our North) partially reopened on May 1 and West Virgina (to our West) started on April 30th. Isn’t that just great? Here we are, in Maryland, doing our best to keep our part of the pool pee free. But, no, Pennsylvania and West Virginia say, “It’s okay…we’ll just pee in this corner.” Really? If I know a bunch of people are peeing in the opposite corner of the pool, I still don’t want to get into that pool. Would you?
I know I brought this up before, but this is really important. Take a look at this report from the Center for Infectious Disease Research and Policy, COVID-19: The CIDRAP Viewpoint. It’s very readable, very short, and very compelling. The three scenarios it lays out for the future, plus the new case and death estimates released just today, should give us pause. But, nope, we are peeing away in the pool as if we just drank two gallons of tea.
I know the argument about the economy. My family and I are impacted by it too. Life has changed for us and not for the better. I want people to get back to work, too. I want the economy to recover. I want restaurants, movie theaters, stores, malls, golf courses, clubs, bars, music venues, etc. to re-open. Our Congress and Administration has allocated $3 trillion (give or take a couple of billion cause they’re so small and easy to over look) to help people get by during this time.
Unfortunately, in the COVID-19 Great Money Grab, the funds that were intended to keep people employed seem to be missing in action, quite possibly scarffed up to satisfy the “needs” of banks, large corporations, and their stockholders. Here’s the thing: According to the Small Business Administration, there are 30 million small businesses in the United States, comprising 99.9% of all businesses in the country. These small businesses employ (or used to employ) nearly 59 million people, which is 48% of the total workforce. The CARES Act allocated $377 billion to small businesses. Still, there is not much evidence this relief is getting to the small businesses and, more importantly, to the people they employ. It is no wonder people are feeling restless because, in fact, they are feeling ripped off again, they are feeling scared, and, now, they are getting hungry.
We’ve got to fix this and we need to re-open. I got it. But before we do, we need to see fewer Stupid People (people without common sense) out running around and even fewer Ignorant People (people without knowledge or awareness) leading them. Until we do, I fear we are going to be back in this same place in just a matter of weeks.
Fortunately, the Stupid People are becoming more obvious because they are self-identifying. How do we know them? They are the people without masks and who refuse to maintain physical distance. They are everywhere! Including in our neighborhood. I spot one or two Stupid People when I go out for my daily walk. I even know some of them by name. The Ignorant People are a little harder to differentiate from the Stupid People but we still see the fruit of their labor. They are the ones who are organizing and leading the Stupid People in the protests against the shelter-in-place orders.
There is a pretty simple solution to being able to re-open and also be mostly safe most of the time, which may be as good as it gets for a while. We know it because it has worked in other countries where there are, apparently, fewer Stupid and Ignorant People. What is it?
The solution is for everyone to keep physical separation and mask up all the time and everywhere…but it requires all of us to agree to do this and then really follow through like real patriots would do.
I can hear the Stupid and Ignorant whining already, “Why do we all need to mask up?” Let’s talk about pee again.
- Imagine for a moment that you are standing in a swimsuit, near that pool we’ve been talking about, and a little boy runs over to you, drops his pants, and pees on your bare leg. He has now exposed you to anything that has been lurking in his urine.
- Now, imagine you are standing by the pool in long pants. That same dang kid runs over, drops his pants, and pees on you again but, now, because of your pants, not as much pee gets on you and it reduces your risk.
- One more time. This time you are standing by the pool in long pants, the same really irritating kid runs over to you, and pees at you, but this time he forgets to pull down his pants. Ha! Nothing gets on you, it all stays with the kid…who richly deserves it since he is being such a brat.
This is exactly how wearing a mask protects you. Your mask protects others; their mask protects you. That’s it. Pretty simple, eh?
So, can we re-open the country and remain safe? Yes, but only if we act like reasonable, responsible people (including the Stupid and the Ignorant among us). It means we must be willing to do three things every day for as long as necessary and everywhere we go:
- Keep a physical distance of at least six feet from every person we don’t already live with (and if we or they are sick, keep away then too). Even when we are in groups…keep at least six feet away from others.
- Wear a mask every day and everywhere, even if it makes us look goofy or less cool than we want others to think we are.
- Religiously, even fanatically, wash our hands and sanitize them when we can’t wash.
Honestly, is this too much to ask? If we really want to re-open the country, if we really want to stay healthy, if we really don’t want to make our loved ones sick, if we really want to be patriots, then we do what science says is necessary now and we keep doing it for our country until everyone is safe, even if we don’t like it and it is inconvenient. So, is it too much to ask? You know our answer.
The Adventures of Chickenman – Episode 19
Chickenman (aka Benton Harbor, shoe salesperson during the week and Feathered Fighter on the weekend) is being joined in the fight against crime in Midland City by the Masked Maternal Marauder (aka Mildred Harbor, his mother.)
A Grizzled Old Man in Jeff Logan’s Video Conferences
Stay safe, be well, keep calm, keep washing your hands, keep wearing your mask, and don’t pee in the public swimming pool!