Day 46 – Stories of COVID-19 and Sheltering-In-Place

Maybe I won’t so much cruise as just slowly roll along down the middle of the road, looking to and fro but never straight ahead, and make lots of turns without using a turn signal.

Thursday, April 30, 2020 – Live to Blog from Under a Rain Cloud


Actually, a real rain cloud. It has been rainy all day. It was predicted that we are going to get up to three inches of rain, and maybe more. What a GREAT day to have dogs!

Dog Walking in the Rain

Even though it isn’t Monday and dogwalking is Clemencia’s job, except at night, she “let” me take the Girls out for their afternoon walk so she could get ready for her Spanish class. Yes, it was raining…hard.

I’m sure if someone did a study on it they’d find a positive correlation between the intensity of rain and the length of time dog’s think they should stay outside in it. The harder it is raining, the longer they want to stay out. I hate it and even Bert Left and Ernie Right begin mumble loudly about it. I suppose they may feel like they are at risk of being washing. Hey, after 46 days of unwashed wear, they really are beginning to be more human than sock.

When I walk the dogs it seems I revert back to that very early time in my life when I had an extremely limited vocabulary – you know, like 12 months old. All I can be heard to say is “Leave it!,” “Leave it!,” and “Leave it!” If you have a dog, you know that is the universal short command for, “Whatever rotten, stinky thing you’ve sniffed out and now want to eat, leave it alone!”

Dolly and Madison
Madison and Dolly hard at work…between walks.

Miniature schnauzer are not water dogs. Especially Madison and Dolly. Madison is a “pillow” and Dolly is…well…Dolly. Both are very tempermental. When they go outside and it is sprinkling…and they feel a drop of water hit their heads…they start straining to go back inside. However, when it is a downpour, they wander about as if there is nothing better to do.

Speaking of wandering, it reminds me of one of my favorite Iowa jokes though, honestly, I do find it a bit offensive.

Question: What do the letters in Iowa stand for?

Answer: Idiots Out Wandering Around

I’m not very proud that I actually told that joke but there is, as in all jokes, an element of truth. I love my home state and I especially love to drive there. In fact, living in the Baltimore/Washington corridor, which has the second worst traffic congestion in the country (after Los Angeles), I really, really miss driving in Iowa where you can actually drive the speed limit…and maybe a little bit more. It is exhilirating to drive in Iowa, usually.

Until you come upon an I.O.W.A. In my experience, it is the person who is driving less than the minimum speed limit, down the middle the road, and who is looking around outside without paying attention to the road ahead of them. And, then, when the I.O.W.A. sees something of interest, they jump on the brakes and turn abruptly without the fair warning of a turn signal.

The Field of Dreams in Dyersville, Iowa, where it once asked, “Is this Heaven?” To which the response, “No, it’s Iowa” was given.

To be absolutely clear, there are I.O.W.A.’s everywhere. They are not limited to that beautiful piece of Heaven (because it’s Iowa) in the middle of the country. They can be found whereever there is a road. I’ve spotted several I.O.W.A.s in Maryland though, not recently, because I can’t go anywhere.

However, there is coming a time again when I can venture out in my Hyper-Blue (yes, that’s the name of the color) Subaru and cruise the highways again with Dolly and Madison securely harnessed in the back seat. Maybe I won’t so much cruise as just slowly roll along down the middle of the road, looking to and fro but never straight ahead, and make lots of turns without using a turn signal. I’ll fit right in!

Coronavirus Anxiety Workbook

You heard me right…there is such a thing. Really. It is published by The Wellness Society and it is free. It is a tool that is designed to help build personal resilience during difficult times. The Wellness Society has a unique mission that is focused on making mental health wellness resources available to people who find professional help unaffordable. The Coronavirus Anxiety Workbook is The Wellness Society’s attempt to get a mental health wellness resource to people who need at most during this difficult time. The Workbook is not copyrighted and, in fact, The Wellness Society is encouraging people to share it and, like me, put it on their websites. All they ask is they be credited with its development and a link be provided to their website.

The Adventures of Chickenman – Episode 15

Oh no! Benton Harbor’s (Chickenman) true identity is known to very few…until today…thanks to his mother.

Tex & Edna Boil Remind Me of…

Tex and Edna Boil, of Tex and Edna Boil’s Organ Emporium, advertised frequently on SCTV. Tex was played by Dave Thomas and Edna by Andrea Martin. In the series they were always trying to sell their organs with bonus items, such as budgies or rhythm aces. Their commercials were parodies of the worst of locally produced and aired television commercials. When I moved to Maryland I discovered there was a flooring company in Baltimore that must have gone to the Tex & Edna Boil Academy of Television Commercial Production. They were so incredibly bad that I couldn’t wait for one to air. I’m not sure I would ever buy anything from the company but I’ve often wanted to go to the store just to see if I could meet the two stars of the commercials. Who says lousy ads don’t get people into the store?

Rhythm Aces only $199.95 with an organ!

Author: The Driveler

Tom Klaus is the Driveler. On March 16, 2020, the first day of the Novel Coronavirus shelter-in-place order for his state, he started writing a daily blog to keep himself from stressing too much about the pandemic situation. He thought the daily blogging would last for only a couple of week but it stretched on to 77 consecutive days. Then he continued writing daily for a while after that as well. At some point the blog became The Daily Drivel...mostly because he was mostly writing the stream of consciousness drivel that was pouring out of his head, running down his face, and, sometimes, out of his mouth. In November 2020 he launched The Daily Drivel as a free-standing website/blog.

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